On fangirling, One Direction and finding community
In honour of Liam Payne’s passing, Sundus Abdi reminisces the joy and perils of being a teenage fangirl
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I first met one of my closest friends in the hallway of our Islamic school. As funny as it sounds, I overheard her talking about Niall Horan, the One Direction member I was hopelessly obsessed with at the tender age of twelve.
I stopped her mid-sentence, and in a way, only fangirls would understand, we instantly bonded over our shared love for the group.
When I learned about Liam Payne’s recent passing, these feelings rushed back to the surface. I was flooded with messages from old friends who vividly remembered how embarrassingly loud and unapologetic I had been about my One Direction obsession.
My TikTok was inundated with videos of ex-fangirls reliving the good old days.
Our shared nostalgia was a bridge; binding us once more through an unspoken understanding, Even as adults, we still seek out that communal sense of joy through the playlist of our teens.
Especially in those hallways where the Quran was being recited nearby. Back then it all seemed so perfect; we were blissfully unaware of the controversies that would later cloud the celebrities we once adored.
Fangirling has always been more than just an obsession; it's been a community. A way of finding and connecting with those who share the same passions.
It gave us something bigger than ourselves to belong to — a community where we could immerse ourselves in a hobby and find solace in one another’s enthusiasm through poorly made memes.
In those days, the world felt both immense and intimately ours. We became each other’s support system, giving advice and navigating adolescence's perils and growing pains through late-night Facebook messages.
It celebrated girlhood — of being young, obsessed and unashamed. There’s something powerful in finding a sense of belonging among those who “get it”, something that can be hard to come by elsewhere.
There is a kind of misogyny tied to being a fangirl, with being young and loving something so deeply that it consumes you.
Society has a way of mocking teenage girls for their passions, reducing our joy to hysteria in a way that equally passionate (and largely, male-dominated of course) sub-groups, like football fans, rarely face.
Yet, there is something deeply radical about allowing ourselves to feel so intensely, to throw our whole selves into the things we adore.
When we were teased for caring too much, it wasn’t just an insult — it was a dismissal of the importance of our feelings, a reminder that, to the outside world, our joy wasn’t worth taking seriously.
But we took each other seriously.
As fangirls of One Direction, who came third on The X Factor and subsequently sold over 70 million records, we built entire worlds together. We found refuge in our collective excitement and offered each other a kind of unconditional support that could only be described as sisterhood.
Even now, as we move on to new chapters of life, the people we bonded with during those years follow us. We are now all adults hearing the awful news online of Liam’s recent passing. There is a bittersweetness that we are technically, all grown up.
Yet, there’s a tenderness in knowing that somewhere out there, there’s a group of people who still think of you when a One Direction song plays.
Friends who once flooded your phone with messages dissecting every interview and concert, and who remember how much it all meant to you.
To this day, a wave of nostalgia hits me when I hear Stockholm Syndrome or stumble upon a fan edit of their Teenage Dirtbag performance. There’s a bittersweetness to it because it reminds me of how much space the human heart can hold.
How it can be completely occupied by one thing, then slowly stretch to make room for everything else life throws our way.
Recently, I found myself listening to playlists I meticulously curated at 14, solely dedicated to One Direction. The melodies and lyrics evoked feelings of hopefulness and wonder I felt as a teenager when my biggest worries were about fitting in and choosing where to sit at lunch.
With Liam’s passing, there’s a renewed ache for those simpler times, a longing shared by so many fans who are grieving a part of their youth.
Growing up has taught us about the fleeting nature of life, the inevitability of loss, and just how important it is to cherish the experiences that shaped us.
As I sift through the memories of my adolescence, I realise that fangirling was never just about pop music or One Direction; it was about the moments that sparked joy and unexpected friendships.
Fangirling taught me that, in a world that often feels isolating, there are always connections waiting to be made. Feeling deeply isn’t a negative trait and all of the One Direction members helped us realise that.
There’s still a piece of that girlhood that lives on, no matter what we spent our teenage years obsessing over.
’ One Direction playlist
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